Nearly one-third. The United States Census indicates that one-third of children experience divorce before they reach adulthood. It goes on to say that this event can negatively impact them throughout their life. I would say this can be the case if certain preventive measures are not in place.

My children are included in that one-third. When I was going through my divorce, I wrote down everything I heard them say regarding it. I had no idea why I was doing it, but I did it anyway. I would hear statements such as...

‘'It's our fault.'’

"Maybe if we are good, daddy will come home."

Divorce can he hard not only on the adults involved, but on the entire family. With these notes that I had written down, I later decided to write a book on divorce titled, "Is It My Fault: Divorce from a Child's Perspective." 

This book shows the encounters of what was going on in the home during the process, how the children felt, the behavior of the adults and even the family attending a support group.

Because divorce can be hard for children, there are some important tips in the back of the book for parents. Some of these tips include,

1. Talk to the children about the separation or divorce. It is more helpful for both parents to talk to the children together and not separately.

2. Assure the child that divorce or separation is not their fault.

3. Allow the children to express their feelings and ask questions.

4. Reassure them that both parents still love them.

As you navigate through your own emotions, it is important to be honest with the children according to what they can understand. Do this without being negative or disrespectful when speaking about the child’s other parent. As you consider your own feelings and healing journey, also consider that of your children and get the help and guidance you all may need. Remember that healing is a journey and not a destination. Take as much time as you need.